Do I have to update a touch to 3.0 or + to update itunes 9.0.1?
I am somehat piqued that v3.0 is a pay job for the touch, but the featrues added are for the phone.
Or is it safer to forget the whole thing?
I see so many horror stories about these updates.

You don't even need an iPod to update iTunes...

I KNOW you don't need an ipod to download any version of itunes.
What i MEAN is , when I do that, will they work together, sync etc.. or does 9.0.1. require touch 3.01 ?

LOL no, you can be oon whatever firmware you want!